When is a marriage not worth saving?
Saving marriage: tips from practice
Saving marriage does not mean knowing the way
Married partners who want to save their marriage and are looking for professional tips and the help of the marriage counselor because of persistent or deep-seated relationship problems often hope that the initial consultation will clarify outstanding basic questions. Saving marriage: It means gradually getting closer to each other. Sometimes the spouses initially only agree on one point that they want to overcome their problems in the relationship. How they can approach the desired rescue in practice only becomes clear during the intensive discussions and stocktaking. Sometimes all of a sudden, but mostly gradually, they see a way to save the marriage and shape the rest of their life together.
No therapist can simply save a marriage
Marriage counseling and couples therapy is not about providing ready-made answers that will save marriage and prevent divorce. The purpose of the discussions, tips and exercises is openness, fear-free communication and learning or rediscovering a constructive culture of conflict and reconciliation. The therapeutic environment and professional support during the conversation make it much easier to deal realistically with the initial situation and to use it as an important opportunity to recognize personal and marital conflicts and unfulfilled longings. In most cases, this results in new, creative and natural approaches for the partners to relax the situation and clarify overdue questions. And these show the partners whether and how they can save their marriage.
Attention and compassion help you to recognize and express your own desires and longings. Tips and personal therapy experiences are transformed into strategies that can later be implemented in everyday life.
What does that mean anyway?
After a successful consultation / therapy, when the relationship is harmonious again, the reunited partners often remember their personal growth and success story with particular joy. That they were able to save their marriage, even though they had already given up hope and the divorce seemed inevitable, rekindled their faith in love. Saving love, which was believed to be lost, is a jointly accomplished heroic deed that inspires imagination and passion and awakens the willingness to become more involved in the future for partners and conjugal happiness in order not to jeopardize what has been saved again. From the well-known phrase “save the marriage” it can be concluded that the partnership is to be viewed as a valuable asset. Rescuing them is tantamount to preserving assets or a security measure in a shaky place, while their loss represents a negative item that is posted in the red on the bill of life.
Save the deep values of the relationship
What appears clear and almost logical at first glance, turns out to be one of the many lovable "language sloppiness" that men and women can always allow themselves when they are sure that they will be understood by the other person. Everyone knows what is meant, but at the same time it is crystal clear that there cannot be a “marriage in itself”, detached from the people involved, the passage of time and the individual circumstances.
The value that lovers want to protect with their relationship can neither be defined by the pure term nor by the special legal status that spouses enter on the day of the wedding and which as fixed values come with social protection, social status gain and financial advantages brings.
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