Are people friendly today

Reacting to unfriendliness: 7 confident reactions to unfriendly people

If someone comes to us unkindly, we often shoot back with the same force. But is that wise? These seven techniques will help you react more confidently.

How nice it would be to just let unfriendly people ricochet off you. To react calmly and confidently. Most of us fail. We shoot back when attacked.

The stupid thing is: even pulling out the club feels good only in the situation. In the short term you have the feeling that you have given it to the unfriendly stupid man. But then you realize: Now two people are in a bad mood. Now two people were rude. Now two people have reached into the bottom drawer.

But how do you react to unfriendly, aggressive people with style? These seven techniques will help.

1. The "your bad mood stays with you" technique

The first step to react confidently and calmly to unfriendly people: realize that this unfriendliness has nothing to do with you. Perhaps the other person already had a relationship argument that morning. Or pressure on the job. Maybe he is totally overwhelmed with his life.

Say to yourself: "You are in a bad mood - it stays with you." This way you can react much more calmly and do not see the unfriendliness as an attack on you.

2. The "What Would [Michelle] Do Now?" Technique

How would you like to be? Choleric like Klaus Kinski? Calm like the Dalai Lama? Stylish like Audrey Hepburn? Casual and strong like Michelle Obama?

It helps to have a clear picture of how you want to be. Do you want to be someone who quickly gets out of your skin in an attack? Or someone who stays calm and reacts prudently? Find someone you would like to orientate yourself on and then consider: "What would XY do now?"

Michelle Obama once said, referring to the indecency of Donald Trump: "When they go low, we go high". Loosely translated: "If the others misbehave, we respond with decency and style." Such sentences can serve as anchors. Find a motto that is right for you. He can help you react the way you want to be in difficult situations.

Do you lack the quick wittedness to find the right words in tense situations? Here are 11 tips for quick-witted answers.

3. The "hyper-polite" technique

Smiling at the other person, possibly sarting at them (even if they have done so beforehand) and responding without any aggression - that can be incredibly disarming. Because the more polite you are, the more obvious it is how unfriendly the other person is.

This works especially well in email. If you receive an unfriendly email, for example from a customer, then respond politely. Usually the other person calms down again. Because someone who does not react to an attack with a counterattack cannot be fought with.

4. The "agree in parts" technique

If someone snaps at you, just say, “You are right.” The other person probably expected a different answer and is confused.

Of course, you don't have to agree with him on every point. Look for an aspect that you can agree with. The person opposite is likely to shift down a gear. Because it has noticed that you are listening to it and are not brushed for a riot.

5. The “tell what's going on” technique

“I can tell you are very angry. What exactly is so enraging you? ”Try to get this sentence off your lips as calmly and gently as possible. Because: If you name the obvious, that changes the situation. The other feels seen and has to give a good reason why he is so loosing about it.

6. The "just move on" technique

You don't have to fight every fight. Especially in situations where strangers are yelling at you, it is also possible to just move on. Leave the other person's anger where it belongs: with them.

7. The "reset button" technique

No matter how hard you try: Sometimes you get on with unfriendliness. Maybe you were even the one who was stressed and started the rumgemoser.

Then it often helps to take a short breath and press the reset button. For example, say, “Okay - the last 5 minutes have been going in the wrong direction. Should we both start all over again? ”Very few people will turn down this offer.

You can find out how to deal with aggressive behavior here: Fending off verbal attacks: 5 tips on how to counter verbal attacks like a pro

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