How about true love
True love is a deep love that also survives ups and downs, happiness and unhappiness, health and illness. True love is a deep longing of people: In the midst of the many changes, one is looking for something that is firm, that gives support, that one can build on. This is what true love stands for.
True love in partnership
Most people look for true love in a partnership. People ask themselves: does he really love me? Is their love really true? And people ask themselves: Is that what I feel about my partner, true love?
Sign of true love
What are signs of true love? People seek signs of true love from their partner. People seek advice from astrologers, palm readers, tarot and coffee grounds: is he my true love? Does she really love me It's a popular column in magazines these days: How do I know true love?
Here are a few signs that can be viewed as true love:
- True love is constant
- True love is expressed in favors small and large
- True love is trusting, is beyond jealousy
- True love is immune to false whispers
- True love loves the other, even if they let themselves go: with true love, you don't have to pretend
- True love is connected with respect and esteem for the partner
- True love accepts the other for who he is and does not want to change him
- True love wants to help the other in his personal and spiritual development
- With true love, you feel comfortable in the presence of your partner
- With true love, one is happy to see the partner soon
- True love takes pleasure in the partner's presence
- True love rejoices in the partner's joy
- True love takes an interest in the other, expresses itself in compassion and concern
- True love thinks about how to help the other
- True love asks: What does the other need, how can I help him?
- But true love also knows that the other person is an independent person and respects them when they do not want to be helped.
True love is also shown in the fact that you have trust in your partner and are ready to expect something from them:
- True love dares to ask the partner for help
- True love is expressed in telling your partner what you want from them
- True love also tells the partner what bothers you
- True love does not think that the partner should know everything intuitively - rather, true love has the courage to help the partner understand and support you
- True love knows that the other wants to help you - and helps the other to help you
- True love helps one to confide in one's partner, to share one's worries and needs, joys and hopes - without fear that the other would judge something
- But true love is also considerate and knows when the time is right: the partner cannot be confronted with everything at all times. Sometimes you have to talk to the other when you can talk
What true love doesn't need
Some people look for signs of true love that aren't actually signs of true love:
- True love doesn't need a great sex life that will last for years. Even in very good relationships, there are fluctuations in sexuality - and sex usually becomes less in a long partnership
- True love does not have to be romantic love: Partnerships often start with romantic love - true love becomes deeper - but can also be romantic love
- True love does not have to be expressed in constant gifts, flowers and compliments - but it can
- True love doesn't have to be harmonious. Sometimes true love is expressed in the fact that one dares to argue openly with one another - the reconciliation afterwards is all the more beautiful
Outward signs of true love
There are a few outward signs of true love
- In true love, you tell each other your own dreams - and assumes that maybe you can live them together. If someone thinks about their dreams and the (potential) partner doesn't fit in - that is probably not the potential partner
- True love has long-term plans. If your partner doesn't want to share plans with you for 2-4 years, the love is probably not that deep (and vice versa)
- Friends: Those who respect each other's friends and try to make friends with each other's friends are likely to see the relationship as more binding and long-term. Thus, interest in each other's friends is a sign of true love
- Loving gestures: True love also wants to be expressed. It can be affectionate affection, small compliments out of the blue, a spontaneous smile, the willingness to do something for the other person. But true love means that it is mutual. You can also check yourself: Does this come spontaneously to me?
- free space: Are the partners ready to give themselves space? Because true love has trust. When there is a lack of trust, one partner wants to control the other.
- Similarities: There are two proverbs: like and like like to join and opposites attract. In a long-term relationship, the similarities seem to be more important. If you want to spend your life in a community, it helps to have common interests, concerns, goals - whereby differences can be the spice of the relationship.
- The partners enjoy tenderness - they are happy when they are affectionate towards the partner and when they receive tenderness
- Quarrel: A sign of true love is also a good culture of argument
How do you find your true love?
Since true love is one of the deepest human longings, people ask themselves: How do I find my true love? There are so many advisors about how to find your true love. Since this is the Yoga Wiki, here are a few thoughts on it:
- Prayer: Pray to find your true love. Ask God for guidance
- Trust in Karma: Trust that when you are meant to be, you will find your true love
- Do your spiritual practices: Practice yoga, meditation and whatever belongs to your spiritual practices: Those who keep their prana, their life energy, high, their mind open, have a good charisma, can perceive others better and are better perceived
- Don't make the search for true love an obsession: if someone else sees that you are in dire need of love, they will flee. So learn to live your life with serenity and joy, find a deeper meaning in life outside of the partnership - then you are more likely to attract true love
- Keep your antennas open - and meet lots of people. Give fate a chance to meet your true love
Make your partnership true love
First of all, assume that your current partnership is your true love. Read through the previous sections - and see if you can implement some of them, and ask your partner if they are willing to implement some of them.
Ask yourself: Assuming my current partner was my true love, what would I do, how would I behave, what would I expect and hope from him? Then see what you would do with it. And share your wishes, needs, dreams with your partner.
From the moment you start treating your partner like your true love, two things can happen:
- Your love deepens - it actually grows into true love
- You realize that you are not meant to be one another
But be patient. Don't overwhelm yourself or your partner. Take small steps.
Do you have to find your true love in a partnership?
Some people look for their "true love" - and don't find it. Because they have too high expectations of "true love," they cannot find a satisfactory relationship. Here's the tip: True love doesn't have to be all overwhelming. Sometimes the "little love", in which one supports one another and is there for one another, is the best love.
Not everyone is looking for great love, true love, in a relationship. In earlier times "true love" did not play a major role in the two-person relationship. Often marriages were not made after love, but were arranged by the parents. So there were fewer high demands on love - and all the more important it was to deepen the relationship. Even today there are couples who see their relationship a little more soberly - and perhaps because of this they have a very satisfactory relationship, partnership, marriage.
People are different, their concerns are different. The idea of what makes a good relationship, what true love is, is also different for people. It helps to be aware of this.
Errors for true love
There are various errors that concern love - and which then often lead to false expectations of partnership and true love. Here some examples:
- There is only one true love: For some people it may be true that at the end of their life they say: He / she was my true love. Most people love the partner they are with now. So most people have multiple true loves
- True love must always be the same: True love changes. True love understands that there are different stages in love. True love sheds its skin and renews itself in the forms of expression
- When there is an argument, it is not true love: On the contrary, the hallmark of true love is a good culture of argument. Of course: partnerships are as different as the people who enter into them. Every relationship is different. Some people who truly love each other keep arguing, currently. also violently - and then make up very passionately. Other couples understand each other intuitively and almost never argue. True love can be expressed very differently - and culture of conflict and conflict can be an expression of true love
- True love doesn't need words: This is one of the myths about true love. Often the partners read the wishes from their eyes at the beginning of their love affair. But it doesn't stay that way. The hallmark of true love is trusting that it is your partner's concern to make you happy and that they will be grateful for tips on how to do it. Therefore: Express your wishes and expectations and ask the other to express theirs. True love has confidence in communication.
- True love is exclusive: True love is exclusive in the sense that you can only fully cultivate partner love with one partner. At least in Western culture, it is unthinkable to have true love for several partners at the same time. But true love also gives space to the other. True love gives the other time for his friends, for his hobby, for his meditation. By giving each other time and space, the partners also have material for their conversations afterwards. Even with true love, not every free minute has to be spent together.
- True love knows no secrets: That is also not true. True love gives space to the other. True love recognizes the other's need to keep some things to oneself. True love has the trust that the other also has a need for privacy - and that you yourself have a right to it. You can keep some things to yourself, you don't have to expect everything from your partner.
So think about it more often: Am I sitting on one of these or other errors regarding true love? Ultimately, true love is not subject to convention. True love is a feeling of connection, the desire to make the other happy and to encourage them in their development. Conversely, true love is trust in the other's true love. True love is the trust that the other wants to make you happy and wants to support you in your development. This type of true love can be expressed in a variety of ways.
God as true love
Man seeks true love because in truth he is love. The love that man seeks can only be found in God. For man, true love is permanent love, permanent love, eternal love, unselfish love, unconditional love, love for love's sake. Such true love can only be found fully in God. In the first letter of John it says:
"God is love; and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him." (1 John 4:16 b)
This expresses that all love is an expression of God. The Vedanta philosophy says: Deep down, everyone is one with God. Deep down, all people are connected to one another. Deep down, everyone is ananda, joy. Therefore man has a deep longing to feel at one with all creatures. Feeling connected is called love. The longing for true love is the longing for this unity. God is unity. Ultimately, true love can only be found in this experience of God. Every human love is an expression of the love of God.
Every love as an expression of love for God
Love from and for a single person cannot fully meet the demands of true love. Because the true love that man seeks is ultimately the constant love from and to the immortal, to the eternal, i.e. to God.
Every love is an expression of this true love, the love of God. If you are lucky enough to find your true love in the human, consider yourself happy, be grateful, and be happy about it. And see in this human love the love of God.
If you only partially find true love in a person, be thankful for that too. Every love is an expression of God. On a human level, people are human. That sounds banal, but it is important: On a human level, people change, have needs that change, and people are developing. People in development are imperfect, so their love is not yet perfect either. But if you see the longing for connection and the longing for God behind every love, you will see true love shine more and more often - and show your partner and yourself understanding when your love does not have all the characteristics of true love. On a human level, true love is also understanding and forgiving love.
True love - false love
Against the background of the love of God there is only limited false love. False love would be fake love. False love would be love that is not love at all: someone fakes love that he does not even feel in order to get something on another level. Examples would be marriage swindlers or people who marry someone for his / her money. That kind of faked love isn't really love.
All other forms of love are reflections of true love. Every form of connection is love. God is love, it says in John. It doesn't say: God is just one form of love or another. Sensual love, emotional love, sexual love, tender love - all of these are also expressions of true love. God is expressed in so many ways. The waves change, the ocean remains. The expressions of God and with them the expressions of love change like the waves. God himself and with it love itself always remain there like the ocean. The waves of fleeting love are expressions of true love.
Profession, hobby, calling as true love
You can feel love not only towards your partner, but towards all people, all animals, nature, towards God. You can also feel love for your hobby and your calling. So there is love for people, love for horses, love for dogs, love for cats, love for nature, love for God. And of course there is self-love, self-love.
It is popularly said:
- His true love is painting
- The company is his true love
- Dogs are her real love
- His true love is yoga
Here, true love is understood to mean that to which one has been connected for a long time with a lot of devotion, energy and sacrifice and for which one feels a deep love.
Sometimes partners get jealous of this form of love: You don't love me but your job, then is the reproach. Or: Your true love is yoga, not me. This then culminates in the question: What do you love more, yoga or me?
Love in itself is not exclusive. Love is all-encompassing. You can love your mother, your partner, your siblings, your friends. And you can also love your job, your spiritual practice, God. Everything is an expression of love in itself.
Humans need air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat. The question: what do you love more? me, your job or yoga? is like asking: what more do you need? Air, water or food?
Of course, it is not easy to live up to all forms of true love. Love is always active love. Active love takes time ...
Do everything with love
Whatever your job, do it with love. The deepest true love is the love for God, for all people, for nature, for everything that you have to do. Partner love excludes all other people as partner love. True love in partner love is exclusive love.But the exclusivity of partner love includes all others as love and everything else in other forms of true love.
Meet all people with benevolence and with love. Be aware that whatever you have to do is God's job for you. Therefore do it with love, with heart, mind and hand.
This is true love on a deeper level: love for God, love for people, love for nature as you encounter it, love for your calling, love for your tasks.
- Anselm Grün, The Song of Songs of Love: Münsterschwarzacher Gift Booklet (2011)
- Stephan Hachtmann, Touched by the Sound of Love: Paths to Prayer of the Heart (2012)
- Thich Nhat Hanh, Jesus and Buddha - A Dialogue of Love (2010)
- Ayya Khema, The greatest is love: The Sermon on the Mount and the Song of Songs from a Buddhist perspective (2009)
- Albert Schweitzer, From my life and thinking (2011)
- Albert Schweitzer, Believe, Love, Act (1980)
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