How do INTJs perceive ESFJs
The dominant function of the ESFJ is extraverted feeling. Its second function is introverted sensation.
ESFJs are relationship people. You need company, and society needs it. They carefully and conscientiously perform all the roles that society grants them. In this sense, they are exemplary children, students, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, work colleagues, friends, parishioners, etc. They willingly put their own needs aside in order to meet the wishes of others. In this sense they are similar to the ENFJ. They differ from this in their second function - the introverted feeling. Unlike intuitive ENFJs, which primarily focus on promoting the potential of their protégés and trying to get them on the right track, ESFJs are more concerned with meeting specific needs under the given circumstances.
They make their contribution in every group to which they belong. Her calendar is fully booked with appointments and tasks that reflect her high level of commitment and responsibility for her community, both large and small. While the sense of responsibility for the community in ESTJs follows from logic, in ESFJs this arises from their personal relationships within their community and their community's expectations of the associated obligations.
You are careful to be a prime example of the role you have played in every way. However, they also use these criteria to assess the behavior of their fellow human beings.
They are also very keen to meet the expectations placed on them in all areas. They dress according to current fashion, the furnishings of their home meet generally accepted standards, and during their public appearances they are careful to choose the right topic of conversation.
They are tied to tradition. They take family celebrations, birthdays and celebrations very seriously, and accordingly they feel hurt when other people do not display the behavior associated with such social occasions. A bouquet that is not sent on time for Mother's Day can therefore trigger the worst fears on the part of an ESFJ and even be seen as a signal of poor relationship quality.
ESFJ also require their fellow human beings to adhere to the values they have recognized as right. When others do not behave correctly, ESFJs tend to express their displeasure clearly. If they pay too little attention to their own perceptions, they find it difficult to tolerate behavior that deviates from general group expectations. As they strive for harmonious relationships and cooperation in the community, ESFJs see such efforts as a threat to the cohesion of the community. They often end up in positions that enable them to work towards maintaining social order.
ESFJ carry out their tasks in a structured and routine manner and tend to stick to tried and tested procedures. You have a good eye for details and can quickly see what's coming up. Their primary aim is to help others meet their needs. You have a high work ethic and are only ready to take a break after all duties have been completed.
ESFJs strive for security and stability in their everyday life. They tend to be reluctant or hesitant about new developments. They cannot gain anything from abstract theories that have no recognizable application to their social obligations.
When ESFJs are unsure of their assigned role or desired behavior in an abnormal situation, they tend to engage in dialogue in the groups concerned in order to resolve this conflict through consensus. Accordingly, ESFJs in companies are very good team workers who work skillfully to win over other employees to solve open problems.
ESFJs rely on feedback from the people they support. Indifferent behavior hurts them. They mostly react sensitively to criticism and see it as a rejection of themselves. It is difficult for them to impersonally test the criticism for its logical justification. Therefore, they tend to defend themselves, for example by listing what they have accomplished in the past or accusing the critic of being ungrateful. Sometimes they get rid of the criticism by discrediting the critic himself.
The skills that distinguish the ESFJ correspond to the traditional image of women in our culture. ESFJ women therefore mostly appear extremely feminine. At the same time, their weaknesses and strengths often serve as a template for stereotypical gender roles in the media. A male ESFJ, on the other hand, usually feels a conflict between the socially dominant notions of masculinity and his being, which strives for harmony.
Many ESFJs rely almost exclusively on the externally prescribed value system of their social class. Problems arise for ESFJs in social groups whose values conflict with personal insights. ESFJs tend to ignore incidents that are not up to the standard of their group. When ESFJs shut themselves off to their own perceptions in order to protect their group's value system, they tend to attribute the problems for their loyalties conflict to other people and circumstances outside of themselves. Accordingly, there is a risk that such an ESFJ will try to manipulate other people and urge them to behave in a compliant manner. Last but not least, this is reflected in well-meaning advice to representatives of different opinions, but also in increased control of deviants in order to eliminate undesirable behavior.
ESFJs grow bigger problems from the reorientation of our society - away from generally recognized roles and values that apply to everyone - towards orientation towards the will and the opinion of the individual. If ESFJs grew up with a stable value system, mediated by their parents and school, their external value orientation hardly causes any problems. ESFJs who have not been taught a stable value system in their families of origin run the risk of representing questionable values and uncritically joining groups that support their point of view.
Because ESFJs are keen to follow other people's reactions and share their observations and opinions with other members of their group, it is difficult for them to determine how their actions align with their own feelings. Many ESFJs are hardly able to form their own opinion without the involvement of others. The more they allow their values to be dictated from outside, the less they feel what is actually going on within them.
ESFJs need to be careful not to deny their own perception. When they rely on their own experiences, they are forced to recognize existing conflicts between the community values they represent and the sad everyday reality. By admitting their concern to themselves and to others, they will not solve this dilemma, but they will reveal their humanity to others. By honestly appearing and admitting their weaknesses, they recognize their true friends and make new ones who actually stand by their side even in difficult times and love them for who they really are.
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