Is there a cure for narcissism

How to deal with narcissists

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Narcissists are ruthless, their ego makes life difficult for others. How to recognize and distance yourself from such self-loving people.

Hikers crashed while taking a selfie: There is more than a tragic accident behind reports like this. The digital self-portrait is the modern symbol of narcissism. And apparently it is already claiming fatalities.

Hardly any other diagnosis has penetrated our language as much as the self-love of the young Greek Narcissus, who was infatuated with his reflection. Self-promoters on the Internet, egomaniacs on the executive floor, rampage pigs in reality shows: wherever you look, you feel surrounded by narcissists.

Does our society suffer from a collective personality disorder? No, says narcissism expert Claas-Hinrich Lammers.

"Many traits that we like to call narcissistic today are quite healthy," explains the chief physician for psychiatry at the Asklepios-Klinikum Nord in Hamburg. This is how self-confidence makes you psychologically stable. Those who are more likely to blame others for failure are better able to cope with setbacks. Such behavior may be annoying to some. “But not everyone who disturbs is also disturbed,” says Lammers.

Studies have found that people who post a lot of photos of themselves online are no more self-infatuated than others.

But it is well known that the dose makes the poison - or in this case the psychological defect. The transition to the morbid is fluid. In people with a narcissistic personality disorder, self-love grows into self-addiction, they consider themselves great without achieving great things.

Empathy is completely alien to them. The people around the narcissist serve one purpose above all else: to mirror to him how grandiose he is.

In general, narcissists' feelings and self-image do not match. Regardless of whether they openly present their gigantic ego to the outside world or celebrate it in secret - behind it there are injured children's souls who are hungry for recognition. "Narcissism is a mask," says expert Lammers.

That is why the narcissist cannot stand one thing: criticism. As passionately as he devalues ​​others, he himself is sensitive. If someone stabs his inflated ego, it bursts. The superficial charm gives way to aggression and malice.

When the boss is a narcissist

Anyone who is dealing with a severely narcissistic person will feel it. For example in the workplace.

How do you get along with such bosses and colleagues? A tip if you want to express criticism: feed the narcissist. And with praise and recognition. You can't apply it thick enough. And mistakes that you want to address should be presented as small oversights.

If you nevertheless become the victim of an outburst of anger, it helps to remain calm and to say to yourself: “I am not meant personally. He can't help it. " After all, the arrogance of an arrogant boss is just a facade.

The greater the self-doubt, the greater the need to beat others up. The general recipe for dealing with a narcissist is: acceptance. Change it, bring it to light, establish contact - all pointless attempts.

Needless to say, a narcissist is not the ideal bosom friend. Real closeness scares him, relationships remain superficial - also because others quickly distance themselves.

A friendly relationship with a narcissist is not entirely impossible, as Professor Mitja Back, psychologist at the University of Münster, explains. At least if he is not badly disturbed. "Some of them are interesting, humorous people," emphasizes the expert. But you shouldn't be working in the same job to avoid cockfights.

It is also important to set clear limits right from the start. Otherwise the narcissist will suck you off.